Full disclosure, if you let me, I’m going to ruin a word for you.
If you don’t want that to happen, stop reading here.
What I will share as a general idea stems from something I learned from Dusan Djukich about 15 years ago.
1 - Stance Matters
Dusan taught me that my INNER STANCE, ie - where you are coming from - the mental POSITION you begin from matters.
And strangely - he doesn’t advocate for overthinking, or overanalyzing or “being strategic” with that stance.
“Act from a decision and stance (“I am the person who produces this result”), not from whether you feel like it in the moment.”
So stance matters, first premise outlined here.
2 - Language Matters
I learned from Richard Bandler and the badass NLP trainers who took me through my NLP Master Practitioner certification is that LANGUAGE shapes reality.
If you are PISSED OFF about something vs being annoyed - that literally changes how you feel and your behavior.
If you use the word YOGA in a sentence, you will prime yourself and others who hear that word to be more flexible.
Language matters, second premise laid.
3 - Repetition Matters
The things that you spell out over and over in your head, become reality.
And, yes - with a grain of salt of course - because you can’t affirm your way to being an NBA player if you’re 90 years old and 4.5 foot tall.
With that obvious point out the way, the thing that I’m highlighting is that the words, phrases, the story that we tell ourselves, largely becomes true.
Earl Nightingale says, “you become what you think about”, virtually every belief system, religious text and scientific discovery over the last 100 years agrees with this.
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OK, and so we begin with me ruining a word that you likely use every day.
The etymology of the word “want” - literally means TO LACK.
To NOT have something is to want it.
To be DEVOID of something.
When you say, “I want X”, you’re saying, “I do not have it”.
And as you repeat that, I really want to have (be/do) X, you program yourself NOT to have that.
You program yourself to see yourself as WANTING that - as NOT having that.
I propose a better alternative for the word want.
The modern understanding we have of "desire” or “a wish for something" is a surprisingly late development in human history.
The first recording of “want” being used in that “new” sense happened in 1706.
Before that, for all of history, if someone said "I want a sandwich," it meant they were lacking one.
The word "will" (from the Germanic wiljan) was the common way to express desire or wish before "want" took over that role.
I propose that will is the best way to express desire.
Replace “want to” with “will”.
It improves your stance if you say, “I will have (be/do) X.”.
It puts you ON the path to achieving that goal, rather than engraining the fact that you do not have that today.
Try it - think about something you wish to have, or be or do.
Say it the old way first - “I want to have X”.
Then try it with the with improved “I will have X”.
Does it improve your inner posture, your stance?