Recharge – The Super-Drug Every Leader Needs To Use To Make Anything Possible.

One time I touched a high-voltage fence.  I never forgot that feeling

It shook my body and zapped my heartbeat up through the roof.

It gave me clarity of mind.  It made me present as fuck.  I stood there and I felt invincible.

It was as if I had come in direct contact with something divine and wicked all at the same time… and survived.

More on that later. 

You see, there are people with excuses and there are people with results.  Excuses are birthed from fear, and fear is birthed from a lack of connection to your purpose.

Whether or not you succeed is dependent upon what I am going to talk about now.

Two things are responsible for robbing you from the results you want.

They are not what you think they are.

Here’s why.  We hear all the time, “take massive action”, “do more now”, “10X action”, etc.

While I agree that action is THE only way to break through and get to the next level – why don’t people TAKE action once they know what to do?

Is it beliefs?  It can be.

But, what affects us more than our beliefs?

How is it that people who have a purpose bigger than their limiting beliefs, make it happen?   Simple.

PURPOSE > BELIEFS

So, simply taking more action isn’t always the key.  Taking a look inside and analyzing your inner beliefs may or may not serve you.

Meditating or “ohming” your way to success may not serve you either.

There is one thing that I can guarantee you 100% of the time will do the job.

PURPOSE = SUPER-DRUG

Jack_with_the_heart

The one thing that will pull you up to ANY fucking level that you put your sights on, no matter what is happening around you, is purpose.

But, it’s not just purpose.

Because some people will give you their “purpose” if you ask them.

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They will tell you why they want what they say they want… but you know the truth.

You know that it doesn’t really make a difference to them whether or not they achieve what they are going for.

Their purpose is weak.  It is impotent.  It doesn’t have the raz-ma-tazz.  It doesn’t have zing.  It doesn’t have tang.  It doesn’t affect their mind or their body one iota.

Dark energy amps up your purpose.

Their purpose is weak, because it has not been INFUSED with dark energy.

“Dark energy”, you ask.  “Isn’t that some sort of new-age bullshit?”  Others may wonder if it is related to black magic.

People will call it what they may, but I am a pragmatist at my core.  I look at what fucking works.  What fucking makes a difference and I apply that to the highest level that I can.

What matters to me is results. 

What dark energy means here is that you throw off the fucking masks, the facade that we have been conditioned to wear.  And get deep.  Fucking deep into your heart.

The core of your beating heart holds the key to amp up your purpose to make you a success beast machine.

Dark energy means throwing away all the nice reasons, all the pretty reasons you could hang on your office wall and it means looking for reasons that would be written in graffiti on the brick wall in east LA.

It means thinking in terms of what moves your body and mind to act fearlessly.  It means getting real with yourself.  Getting real, getting honest.  Even if you burn what you write down because it is too honest – I don’t care, as long as you have a connection to this dark energy.  Once you have this – you cannot be fucked with and you will see the whole universe open up to you in a whole different way.

Because, I have seen people who have done all the massaging of their brain, hell, I was one of them.  I sat around pen and pad in hand, analyzed my core beliefs, changed and rearranged my values, all the things that we hear about in the world of self-development.

But still… after the five figure mentorships, the literal years spent doing what they said would work, it wasn’t right.

As a pragmatist, something wasn’t right, because I didn’t have the results I was saying I wanted.  I started to look at the areas in my life where I saw breakthroughs over and over again.  Areas where I didn’t even believe I could achieve it, but I still did.

It doesn’t matter if your deepest, darkest purpose is something that you are not proud of.  It doesn’t even matter if you share your dark energy purpose with anybody.  In fact, you shouldn’t if you don’t really, really want to.

Your dark energy purpose is there to keep you on the track and keep you energized so that your action is natural and your focus is razor sharp.

So, get connected to your deepest, dark energy purpose.  Get recharged by it.  Breath in the beauty of this one idea that unifies your body and mind and spirit and soul into ONE SUPER UNIT.

You become magnetic.  You become supremely attractive.  You become powerful in all the ways you want to be right now…

…this is the power of your dark energy purpose.

Your dark energy purpose no matter how amazing it is, is worthless if you are not connected to it.

Just like you can’t expect a phone to run on full battery forever you have to be clear on the fact that your mind and body will not run forever on a single charge that you gave it a few years ago.

To succeed you must take time out of your busy schedule to RECHARGE into your purpose.  Get amped up.  Feel the zing.  Feel the ZAP.  Feel the high.

If you have to force yourself to take action… than either you are not clear on what your dark energy purpose is, or your purpose is weak.

If you are easily distracted, or if you easily feel rejected or feel negative emotions as you take action… again, either you are not clear on your dark energy purpose, or your purpose is weak. 

Instead of focusing on your beliefs of what you think is possible, all you have to do is get recharged on your purpose.  Do this AND you WILL break through, whether or not you think you can or not.

Do you have a reason to succeed that is bigger than your reason to stay where you are?

People who are RECHARGED into their purpose will ALWAYS get what their vision is.

This is logical.  This is rational.  Think about it.

What really makes us take action?  What really makes us blow past the excuses and do what is necessary to succeed?

What really makes us take action is connection to purpose.

We can know how to assemble a Lincoln-log cabin.  We can have the best blue-print.  We can even have the best mentors.  We can even have the best strategy of how to lay each log.

But, let’s be reasonable here.  If you and I have no real reason to do this… guess what, we won’t.

So yes, action is the key to success, of course.  The more the merrier.  And, I am the first to admit, I work like a horse, sometimes sleeping no more than 3-4 hours a night and I fucking love every minute of it.

Because once a week I take the time to recharge in my dark energy purpose.

Time alone, invested in me and my dark energy purpose.

Your life right now reflects what your deepest, darkest purpose and your dreams depend on if you are going to connect and recharge into your deepest, darkest purpose.

If after reading this, you haven’t any clue how to discover your deepest, dark purpose, message me on Facebook ASAP, I’ll find the time to walk you through this one-on-one.

Remember, some people have reasons to stay where they are at – and others have reasons to get to a better place.  What you do next will determine which you are. 

Jonathan DeCollibus, #TheClosingMentor

 

Threesomes, Asking and How To Make Money With Your Communication)

I think in three’s.   

Part 1.

Part 2. 

Part 3. 

Someone told me that the brain thinks like this:

“1. 2. 3. TOO MUCH.”

I agree.

And maybe the reason we don’t do things is because we aren’t clear about them, or because we aren’t motivated, which normally is the same thing.

What people call impossible or difficult is what I have found is simply mental overload.

But, it’s not just a practical strategy, it’s also something that we see in nature and all over the universe.

We see three’s everywhere.

Sun, moon and stars. 

Earth, fire and water.

And of course, The Police.

Rant aside, would you like to know the three factors that allow you to make big money in any economy?

Alone, these factors are nice to know.  Used together, they can make you unstoppable.

Would you like that?

First up is VALUE.

(Client believes: “YOU have something that is important to me.”)

You have to have value to make money.  The more value you offer, the more money you will make.  But, value is not what we immediately think it is.  We’ll get to that in a minute.

Second is TRUST.

(Client believes: “YOU have my best interests at heart.”)

Learn to create trust in the mind of another person and you remove about 50% of the obstacles that come up.  I’ll give you a great way to do this right now.  Speak what is happening.  Just speak it.  Let’s say, someone looks uncomfortable… say it.

“Hmm, you look uncomfortable right now, is that right?”

Boom.

Third is AUTHORITY.

(Client believes: “YOU clearly are qualified on where I am at and where I want to go.”) 

You can have all the likability (trust) in the world – but without authority, you have no chance of closing.  To close a deal and get paid, you have to be positioned in the client’s mind as an authority.  They have to believe you are an expert on where they are at… and on where they want to go.  You have to communicate this.  Directly or indirectly, demonstrate this.

Let’s discover right now how we can use these three factors to our advantage in a business situation.  Invite yourself to master each of these factors and make each factor throw money into your hands.

So… how can we take these three factors and exploit them to communicate these three messages…

VALUE: “I have something that is important to you.” 

TRUST: “I have your best interests at heart.”

AUTHORITY: “I am an expert on where you are at, and where you want to go.”

Let’s talk about what value really, really is.

Value is the perception that something will bring me more pleasure and reduce pain. 

Even simpler, value is the perception that something is a low-risk way of getting what I want.

Let’s talk about what true value really, really does.

True value delivers.                         

Real value brings more pleasure and reduces more pain.

Let’s talk about how we can communicate value that leads to action within 60 seconds.

Trust is likability.  It is easy.  It happens within seconds.

You have to show people that you have their back.  You aren’t going to do something that isn’t a win/win.

It is not necessary to demonstrate this directly, all you have to do is convey the characteristics and behaviors of someone who is trustable.  Someone who is in the game for a larger purpose than this specific transaction.

How do we decide that someone is an authority?  Is it because someone says it directly to us?

Something like, “I am the authority on this topic.”  I remember being at a networking event, and a man told me, “I am the, literally the authority, on such and such topic.” 

It reminded me of Eric Carman.  “Respect my author-EH-TEH!” 

The more we directly say that we are authority the more we negate that fact in the minds of our clients.

Again, it’s not important that we tell them directly, what matters is that we demonstrate this by our behavior and attitude.

Think about it.

When you see an authority – you know instantly they are, why?

We identify authority by the characteristics that a person displays.

Let’s pull this from your own experience… what are three characteristics or behaviors that make up an authority in your own experience?

1. _______

2. _______

3. _______

See how easily you can build these characteristics and behaviors into your natural state of being.

So practically speaking, once you have trust and you have their authority…

<< Clearly connect their highest needs and desires to your offer. >> 

<<< ASK THEM TO TAKE THE NEXT STEP >>>

DONE.

Here’s an example of one value connecting structure I have in my toolbox.

I call this A.S.K. (Ask, Stack & Konnect)

“(Question to get them to tell you benefit 1.)”

“(Question to get them to tell you benefit 2.)”

“(Question to get them to tell you benefit 3.)”

“(FACT), so that you can (BENEFIT 1), which means (BENEFIT 2), which really means (BENEFIT 3), because (QUICK LOGICAL FACT) does this make sense to you?” 

Example…

Let’s say…

I sell green tea.

I am talking to a marathon runner.

Totally impromptu… I am not thinking… just typing… so have fun with me on this. 

Ain’t perfect.  ;)

(Question to get them to tell you benefit 1.)

When you run, what are you after more – endurance or speed?

(Question to get them to tell you benefit 2.)

Apart from techniques and training – what have you found turns a good runner into a great runner?

(Question to get them to tell you benefit 3.)

How much fatigue do you feel after a race?

####

(Drinking our green tea boosts your blood to optimal alkalinity and the tea also flushes out the acidity from your body),

…so that you can (have more endurance in your runs),

…which means (your health will be optimized),

…which really means (you will experience less fatigue and experience more wins)…

Because, (alkalinity is proven to boost muscular performance).

Does this makes sense?

####

When you get value in bed with trust and authority, people get a big spike in their buying temperature.

The more you identify what they value, the deeper value connection you can make.

The more you connect value to themselves… the more they will buy.

Done.

To conclude…

Here is the master sequence to close 2 figure deals and 8 figure deals.

STEP 1

< Establish Trust & Authority >

STEP 2

<< Clearly connect their highest needs and desires to your offer. >>

STEP 3

<<< Ask them to take the next step >>>

This doesn’t have to take a long time.  It shouldn’t, in fact.

The Super-Achiever’s Ultimate Guide On How To Worry

I had been stabbed and I was hearing bamboo-like-pan-pipe spa music and I was proud.

As I lay facing the ceiling, I couldn’t believe what I had done.  Well, I didn’t really do it, she had done it to me.

More than 10 needles were sticking out of different pressure points in my body.  My legs, arms and even my hands were symmetrical in their stabbings.

So this is how pine trees must feel. 

My nose started to itch, but I was afraid to move lest these foot-long acupuncture swords would bust a vessel and gushingly end my precious life.

So, the itch would have to be unscratched.

Truth be known, I was proud.

Here I was… a true samurai warrior boss getting his acupuncture on.

And I hadn’t even flinched.

Even when she felt for the nerve and then tapped the needle into said nerve.

She told me she was doing a specific therapy for my adrenal glands, because in her elderly Asian accent, they were “burnt out, and needed a rest.”

Hmm.  Mental note.  Rest.

Jonathan DeCollibus

 

In her time, she’d pushed more needles in than Ozzy Osbourne, by which I mean to say, she was an acupuncture doctor for over 30 years.

10 needles or so per patient, say 10 patients a day… 5 days a week… 30 years. 

Impressive.

The biggest reason I forgot about the pine tree predicament I was in was because she had done some intensive muscle tests on me.  Food and oil allergies.  At first.

How it works is you lay on your back, hold out your right arm pointing to the ceiling, and in your left hand (out of your eyesight) she puts a glass vial filled with coffee, or sugar, or wheat, or whatever she wants to test.

Then she tests the strength in your right arm as she pushes it down to the bed.  If your arm stays strong, you are cool with whatever is in the vial, it doesn’t really affect you.

If, however, you aren’t so cool with whatever is in the vial, well, your subconscious or something else knows about that and triggers your arm to become weak.  That’s how you know. That made sense.  Kind of.  At least with the food and oils.

Then she said something about testing me with emotional vials.

“Let’s do it.”

My curiosity would not be satisfied.  What was the worst that could happen anyway?

She said we would test 60 or 70 different emotions.  For the better part of 1 or 2 minutes, nothing happened.  My arm was strong.  Totally strong.

Then at one point, my arm fell to my side like I was in a dream.  Out of my control.

I made a mental note.

Then she put another vial in my left hand, and another.  Strong.  And another.  Strong.  Strong.  Strong.

“You can put your arm down now.”  That meant the testing was done.

“Okay, so, what happened when my hand went weak?”

She smiled.

“Let me read each of them to you first.

“Do it.”

“Fear, criticism, anger, frustration…” her voice trailed on in a cocktail of delightfully sinister emotions.

Thank god it’s not any of these.

“And, last one, revenge.”

“Okay.  Which one triggered the response?”

“Worry.”

This is BS.  I don’t worry, do I?  Why would I worry?  What is there to worry about…?

She held up a clear vial with the word “Worry” written on it in clear prescription font.

I smiled.  Then I let out a suppressed sigh or maybe it was a laugh.

“You worry about one thing in your life, and you need to learn to stop and let that go.  You have to learn to live in the moment, and be grounded.  Be present.  Be rooted in the ground.”

As she spoke she took the stance of a kung-fu fighter and began to squat a little.  The room felt warm.  Her elderly eyes lit up.  Her arms sliced through the air a couple times.  Swear to god – this happened.

“How would you recommend I stop worrying?”

She said, “Worrying is when you live in the future, or you live in the past and you waste your energy thinking about the things that you cannot control.”

She took a breath in for a moment.

“You want to stop worrying?  Don’t think about that.  Think about this.  Live in the now.  Live here.  Present moment.  Present now.  You are only here.”  She swung her arm to the right with her kung-fu style.  “You are not there, you are not there, either.”

“You lose too much energy.  Too much energy with all these thoughts, all these thinkings, they take away your life energy.  For what?”

“How about planning, I have a business to run, and I have things to think about in the future.  How does that fit in to this idea?”

“You have to plan, yes.  And so, plan.  Then, when you stop planning, stop completely and focus on this question, what can I do now?”

Hmm.  That was starting to make sense.

I could hear the Asian spa bamboo sounds floating through the room.

“You need to say a – a,” her eyes looked up as she searched for the word in English.

“Ah, a mantra.  Yes.  A mantra.  This is the mantra I want you to say.”

She folded her hands into a typical Namaste or Karate pose… “Say, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, until the worry is gone.” She paused for effect for what she was going to say next. “The other night, I woke up, worried and I did this mantra.  And I fell asleep and my worry was gone, absolutely gone, can you believe it?”

“Now, you will say this… mantra – and you will have no worry, only gratitude.”

Wow.

“And how do you recommend I get grounded?  I think that is important as well.”

“Simple.  So simple.  You don’t even have to think about this too much.  Just feel the earth, feel you are connected to the earth.  Feel that you are connected to everyone on the planet.  Feel the energy from your feet connecting into the ground.  Breath deep.  Grow roots into the earth.  Like a tree.  You and the earth are one.  Say, ‘I am connected.’  This is being grounded.”

I was understanding this… 

I blinked my eyes slowly and came back to consciousness as the door opened for what was probably a few hours later.  She took each needle out, I looked down to see how long these acu-swords actually were.  I was shocked to see each needle was no more than 3 inches or so.

I asked, “How long was I sleeping in here?”

She answered a completely different question.

With a smile and a finger wag, “Focus on the now.”

Succeed WILDLY (3 Ways To EFFECTIVELY Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind) Part II

It seems like every fucking self-help book is selling the secret, magical unicorn of mystical rainbows pill that we can pop three times a day and get whatever we want in life.

That is not what this article is.  At all.

I am NOT saying that if you reprogram your mind – everything you want will come to you.  Without ACTION nothing works.  MOUNTAINS of action and repeated failure.  The universe is a wonderful place, it uses failure to keep the fakers away.

The law of attrACTION only works if you take action.  Even the most perfectly programmed computer is worth ZERO if it is not used.  The most perfect vision board or affirmation is worthless if we don’t take action.

Same goes with programming.

Reprogramming yourself is not THE step to success.  It is A step.  And might I add, not a necessary one.  You might think this is strange but the proof is that many, many people have succeeded at tremendous levels without paying any conscious attention to this process.

The reason I say this is to give you motivation to reprogram yourself.  There is no easy way to the top except to climb every day.

Each of these steps are powerful, and in my opinion – used in conjunction they create INSANE levels of change.  Some people use them alone – but it takes much longer.

By the way, these three steps will make much more sense to you if you can identify a belief that is limiting you… and identify a new belief that will ENABLE you to achieve your goals.  RUN it through this process.

It makes much more sense.

3.  Passive Mental Programming (PLANTING SEEDS)

This means positive visualization.  Any form of trance or hypnosis.  Anytime your mind and body is in a passive, receptive state, and you are in the position of an “effect” not a CAUSE.

This works well, because your conscious mind is less active, allowing the new ideas to be PLANTED in your mind.

Without behavior and action reinforcing this programming, the seeds do not grow.  They die.  When you are taking action, passive mental programming is powerful because it reinforces the actions that you are taking and it helps to refresh your mind in your self-beliefs about yourself, your goals, your capacity and your worth.

This is simply planting the seeds in your mind, but you must water these seeds (read: take congruent actions).

2. Active Mental Programming

There are two ways primarily to do this.  

A) Being present to the moment. (KEEPING THE WEEDS CLEAR)

The practice of keeping your mind out of the past, and out of the future SOLELY in the present is a magnificent way to keep your thinking fresh.  Because, programming is simply a lens that we view the present and future through.

When we become present, we see the present through the pure eyes of the present moment.

20 minutes of meditation a day builds this neurological path in our brains that allows us to access is much faster and more often.

Experience reality as it happens, not through the lens of the past or the future.

The beauty about this is that you don’t have to wait for this strategy.  The benefits are immediate.

B) Affirmations and incantations.  (PUTTING NUTRIENTS INTO THE GROUND) 

This is a set of words and tonalities (and postures) associated to the new beliefs you want.  These words and phrases are stated in the positive and describe the NEW programming – not the negative framing of the old programming.  This is important.

This is valuable because you will give your mind a new conversation to have when it does speak to you.

Instead of mentally repeating, “people don’t like talking to me” (old belief) for example, you will be mentally repeating, “people love spending time with me.” (new belief). 

Tonality and physicality play a huge role.  The key is congruence.  Is your tonality and your physicality saying the same message your words are?  The more emotion backing up these new beliefs the better.

1. Repetitive Behavioral Programming (GROWING DEEP, DEEP, DEEP ROOTS)

Your mind (subconscious and conscious) is noticing everything you do.  Every action you take you mind takes note of, and makes a worldview evaluation about.  It is watching.  Hmm.  I did this action, that means I must be this or that type of person.  Hmm.  I reacted to this person in this way.  That means this type of person must be this or that.

This is why discipline and your habits play a huge role in your current programming.

If you force yourself to lift more weight, or more reps when you are alone at the gym, you build a programming of high self-esteem.  If you ask for what you want, you show yourself that you are the kind of person who is clear about what they want and you deserve what you want.  If you wake up when your alarm goes off, you build self-trust.  If you give time, money and energy – you show yourself that you are in a state of deep abundance.  If you take action towards your dreams, you show yourself that you are worth it and that your dreams are possible.  If you rebound after rejection, you train your brain to see that “being rejected” has no power over you.  If you stand up for yourself, you program self-worth.

The more positive (pleasurable) emotion you put into this behavior, the more you will wire it into your brain.  The more frequency and consistency you take these actions or do these behaviors that DEEPER that these roots grow and the more grounded you become in these beliefs.

Being generous is more powerful programming than visualization or anything else.

What to do for hard case reprogramming?  

Use Repetitive Behavior Programming – and go to an extreme.  Do this for an extended time period.

If you fear rejection, see how many times you can be rejected a day in your business.  If you fear failure, see how many times you can fail as you go for your dreams and goals.  Infuse these situations with humor and positivity.  Make it fun to be rejected, find the glory in “failing”.

Take these things to an extreme and show your brain that you will be OK if you take these actions.  Your subconscious mind is on your side and it learns best by experiencing.  Take it to an extreme for a period of time and then relax back to where you desire to be.

I call this going from being threatened – to BEING the threat.  Instead of hoping and praying that the tiger doesn’t find you… you march out into the jungle with a spear and hunt down that motherfucker.  Be the threat.  Be the thing that fear fears.  Take actions that program you for success.  And you will be UNSTOPPABLE.

Succeed WILDLY (Understanding The Frenchman) PART 1

My subconscious has a French accent.  That is why I believe my subconscious mind.  It seems like a wine connoisseur who also builds boats at his chateau by the lake and memorizes Jacques Prévert by the fire at night.

Believable.  Rugged and refined.  Somehow has my best interest at heart.  Very sure of himself.

Now, the truth is this.  The subconscious mind is not a “thinking” mind, it is more like a hard drive.  It records and stores our experiences and then uses our intuition to guide our perceptions and behavior.

Regarding your behaviors and perceptions, your subconscious mind is in the driver’s seat.

The french guy is driving.  95% of the time.  Driving your behavior.  Driving your perceptions.  Direction, activity – decisions.  95% of the time.

Your conscious mind is in the back seat.  95% of the time.

According to Dr Bruce Lipton, author of Biology Of Belief, more than 95% of our lives are run by our subconscious mind.

He also said that the unconscious mind can download 40 million bits of reality per second, where the conscious mind downloads only 40 bits of reality per second.

Basically, your subconscious mind is scorching-fast wireless connection.

Do you remember the sound that dial-up made when we would connect to the internet?

That’s your conscious mind.

So, you are downloading reality into your subconscious mind, and then your subconscious mind organizes that information in ways that ensure your survival and reproduction. It organizes reality in such a way that it helps you achieve what is important to you.

The point is, we have explicit and implicit beliefs that we live by.  The explicit beliefs that we have are the ones that we consciously agree to.  We agree, yes, I know I CAN do this.  Or, this IS possible.  Or, I am a great leader.  Or ___________.

But, hiding at the bottom of the pool is a crocodile.

The implicit limiting belief is opposed to the belief that we know consciously.

You know when you go to do something, or you write down your goals, and there is that little voice in your mind that says in a French accent,

“Don’t bozzah.  Zat iz immm…..pozzibel.”

(Translation: “Don’t bother.  That it impossible.”)

That little fuck.  That little French fuck.  Why do I believe him?

We believe him, because our subconscious is on our side.  It is not our enemy.  It’s just outdated in many cases.  Or at best, misinformed.

First, outdated.  The majority of the “limiting thinking”, “limiting beliefs” that we have today, at ONE point, was actually serving a purpose for us.  It was adding value to us.  That is why we adopted them.  We are not totally senile.

That is why we believe them.  At one point – it was better for us to believe those limiting beliefs – than not to.

An example… “talking to strangers is dangerous”.  For a kid.  That is true.  For an adult business person – that is called prospecting and networking, without which there is no business success.

Do you see how an outdated belief could be a problem?

Secondly, misinformed.  This is the funny thing about humanity.  Whatever we perceive to be reality – we feel emotionally and physically as reality.

Have you ever heard that someone bad mouthed you – or did something hurtful towards you – behind your back?

You felt bad, right?

Well, what if you found out later that you were wrong?  The other person didn’t actually say that thing about you.  They weren’t even talking about you, they were talking about someone else.

Sometimes we misinterpret our perception of reality.

When that happens we build beliefs around that misinformation.

Well, those beliefs can hurt our progress.  They can cause us to feel things that are not powerful, healthy or even sustainable.

Since we are talking about beliefs… let’s get clear about a couple things.

What are beliefs, actually?

And are beliefs something that are true or false in reality?

Beliefs are just our explanations and definitions about what something is, with a ton of emotion behind it.

By the way, that is why in my bestselling book Unlimited Influence, I define influence as “the transference of emotion”.  Because that is all that influence really is.  Transferring that emotion from one person to another.

It’s far more productive to think of beliefs in terms of enabling or disabling, not true or false.  

In other words, there are too many people with genius level IQs who disagree (vehemently) on many black and white issues.  Genius A believes thing A, and Genius Z believes thing Z.

So, it makes me wonder… who is right?

As an achiever – I would rather ask myself – what is going to enable me to achieve my goals and dreams – rather than what is true?

I would also rather ask myself, what is disabling me to achieve my goals and dreams, rather than what is false.

Beliefs give power and take power away.  Rather, they give and take ACCESS to our power.

Henry Ford said, “If you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.”

Beliefs create our experience of life.

If you believe that you deserve a certain level of success (belief) – you will direct what I call the CASCADE.

You will shift your thoughts and your consistent thinking patterns to align with your subconscious belief, you will shift your actions to align with your subconscious belief, and your actions will shift your results.  

Under every problem is a limiting belief.  

Your beliefs come first, they shape your thoughts which in turn shape your actions which are the only thing in the real world that create results directly.

Beliefs create our results.  With our beliefs, we create how we feel physically, energetically, emotionally.

I hope I have sold you on the reasons why you should…

A) Inventory which beliefs are currently enabling or disabling you…

and,

B) REPROGRAM your subconscious mind to unchain your mind’s full potential for the purpose of WILD SUCCESS. 

If you dig this post, check back, I’m going to show you in my next post the 3 ways to effectively REPROGRAM your subconscious mind.

 

Treason, Turbulence and Terror

We were circling the Miami airport over and over again.  Some reason that we didn’t know as passengers.  I actually didn’t care.  The view was glorious.  The water was insanely deeply blue.  It looked like the blue of a magical turtle’s eye.

The turbulence, or intense shuttering, as it might have been described, made it that much more enjoyable.  It infused some adventure into the experience.

I could hear Dean Martin swooning, “Volare… oh, ohhh…”.  

Most people pay money to go on “crazy” rides.  They go to Six Flags, “Death Defying Rides Of Horror”, when in reality, this, the twin engine plane shuttering and shaking and twisting and slanting, well, this is the best kind of ride in my opinion.

A real ride.  With real risk.  Of death.  A beautiful death.  Into the eye of the turtle.

The lady a few rows behind, didn’t think this was such a great ride.  She was annoying us all with her spontaneous and ill-timed “Oh my god” and “We are gonna die”.

As if.  As if her futile screaming would help.

Even if she could have reached her arms out the window to flap her arms, we still would be flying in circles around the city with the magical blue water below.  Her arms wouldn’t stabilize shit.

I remember once I heard my grandmother’s sister (great aunt?) telling me that she enjoyed flying in the back of the plane.  She said it felt like she was being rocked to sleep on her long flight to Australia.

I have learned that there is no point in worrying.  Worrying is a waste of energy.  Letting something eat away at me, used to be a past time.  A hobby.  It was a preoccupation.  A fun way to spend my time driving.

Why not hear the radio, good music and worry?  The scenery, the ocean, the view.  Fuck that.  Worrying is better.  A great expenditure of energy.

Okay.  I’m going to cut the passive aggressive attack on being a little bitch.  Done.

So, what happened?  Well, then after worrying and depleting my emotional and energetic bank account over and over, I got a life.  Yes.  I got a fucking life.

And I don’t mean I wasn’t doing anything before.  No.  I was.  Important things.  Safe things.  But, it wasn’t big enough.  I was playing just small enough to care about the game.  Just small enough to be attached to the outcome.  Just small enough that I could be important, but not big enough that I had to be courageous.

You see, the more you put into the game, the more you invest, the more you can let loose.  Let loose and realize that you don’t have to be so attached to the outcome, rather be attached to the moment.

What are you doing right now?  Are you playing at your best?  Are you focused on giving your everything to this moment?  What do all the accolades of success even mean, if you aren’t fulfilled?  Success is like a good meal, it’s just a memory.

What matters is what we are bringing to the moment.  To this very instant in time.  Because after all, this moment is all we will ever have.  And as they say, wherever you go, there you are.

Initially, it doesn’t seem that way.  It looks much different.

Look, I thought I could manage my life, manage the risk, manage the impressions.  I could build up my reputation, safeguard my dreams… well, life would be amazing, wouldn’t it?  And, indeed it would be, if we lived in a linear universe.

We don’t however.  There are no straight lines in the universe.  Try to find one.  The only one you will find is man made.  The universe is a place of beauty.  Beautiful curves.  Beautiful risks.  Beautiful rewards.  What’s the point of playing a game that you can’t lose?

What happens though, is that when we risk everything, we play full out.  We take the gloves off.  We roll up our sleeves.  We swing for the fences.  We get back up.  We wipe the blood from our eyes and shout into the darkness with courage.

Because this is our one shot.

We realize that we are already dead in the water, and every gain that we make is better than where we are at right now.  We have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

Until we realize that we are shitting away our lives one moment at a time, doing things that we hate, living up to standards we have accepted as our own – we will not do what we know is right.  Yes, I am saying be righteous.  Do what you fucking know is right.

Do what you want.  And normally this is also what you fear.

The real definition of a man, is this.  A man does what he knows is right in HIS heart.  Regardless.  Regard-fucking-less.

Yes, have a great circle of warriors that you surround yourself with.  But, at the end of the day, you have to do what you know is right.  Anything else is treason.

Push all the chips in. Risk it all.  Reputation.  Whatever you think you can’t live without now.  You can.  The more you risk, the more committed you are.  The more committed you are, the harder you will hit.  The more authority you will have.

In my line of work, I am asked how to develop authority.  Simple.  Be more committed than anyone else.  Don’t ever wait to be qualified.  Authority given is just a fancy way to be a slave.  Give it to yourself by being committed at a level no one expects.

Break the rules.  Don’t play by the laws of the land unless if you are a slave of the land.  You are a king, are you not?  The laws are great.  They keep society in order.  But you are different.  You feel that, don’t you?

The call of the bloodbath in the battlefield.  The enemies of your crown.  Those ones, you know which ones they are to you.

You feel that fire in your heart that separates you from the pack.  You are a born leader.  But, being born doesn’t mean you will be followed.  First step.  Follow your own heart.  Follow your calling.  Follow your fucking mission, and you will find rest for your soul at the end of the game of life.

Work your ass off.  Maybe you will be the next big thing and we will all be talking about how you got arrested and commenting about you from the sidelines.  Maybe not.  Doesn’t matter.  What matter is this, did you go for it.  Did you do what you knew was right.  That matters.

I’ve learned by experience that no matter how dark the moment can be, it will last only so long.  No matter how heavy the set is, it serves me.  It makes me stronger.  It forces me to be better.  Fuck better.  It forces me to the best.  That is all I can be.  That is all I will allow of myself.

I can only be the best if I risk everything to follow my heart and do what I know to be right.

Fuck treason.  Fuck safety.  Fuck it all.

I am going to follow my path – face my darkness and shout my name.

As Queen Gorgo tells King Leonidas in the film 300,

“It is not a question of what a Spartan citizen should do, nor a husband, nor a king. 

Instead, ask yourself, my dearest love, what should a free man do?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Robin Hood Is A Girl.

I see the Flintstones every day.  At least 6 days a week.  And Robin Hood.  Not on TV.

At my gym.

The two square Flintstones guys even have the haircuts to match.  It’s uncanny.  And Robin Hood isn’t a guy.  Robin Hood is a girl.  She wears the tights and the pointy hoodie to match.  She may or may not have a bow and arrow hidden behind a treadmill.  I’m not asking.

jonathan decollibus

Not forgetting, as if one could, dear Mr. Steroid King (not his real name) who stretches his Nike shirt, “Just Do It” to dimensions that the manufacture’s never intended.

And lastly, the two stick figure girls running in perfect tandem together in the severely inclined treadmills.  You guys don’t have to show off.  Seriously, stop being obnoxious.

And in the midst of all this quackery, I lift heavy things every day.

What is the gym anyway?  As much as I love it, it’s pure insanity.  It makes no rational sense from the perspective of an alien.  Henry Ford, however, would have seen the human potential and excitedly put us all to work on his assembly line.

What are we all doing here?  What are we creating with these movements?  What would tribal people think if they saw us?

Well, we’re building bodies of aesthetic glory for ourselves and others.  Health and fitness.  Someone explained the difference to me once.  But, I do it to look good.  And because it’s therapeutic.  No amount of $300 an hour psychotherapy could ever deliver the therapeutic results that one hour in the gym “pumping iron” does.

I crank my own music at the gym, by the way.  I never listen to the techno-trance-electro-boom-chiki-boom-boom vanilla club beats that blast through the speakers.  If I wanted to go to a club, I would.  I am here to get my aggression out, and get ripped.  In that order or not.

So I blare heavy metal.  Normally.  Sometimes I’ll branch off to soft rock to get some variety.

This morning as I was working out I noticed by chance that the music inside my headphones was being accompanied by the beats on the big speakers outside.

It was as if the music on the gym speakers matched the BPMs exactly with the music in my headphones.  Not a beat off.  Same timing, same emphasis.

I smiled as I grunted up another set.

This is something that happens in life sporadically.

You meet someone who validates what you are doing in your life.

“Right on”, they say.  “Great work”.  “You’re doing the right thing.”

It feels good to have people pat us on the back.  Accolades, Gatorade and Powerade all feel good, but are not necessary to win the race.

Most of the time, our inner music is not going to be validated by the external music.  That is why we must lead ourselves.  We must lead ourselves when we are alone.  When we are unsure of the path ahead.

Being alone on your path doesn’t mean you are wrong.  In fact, if you read the articles and books that everyone else reads and do the same things that everyone else does – your life will be the same as theirs.

The same priorities lead to the same destiny.

If you are reading this, chances are high that you are not part of the masses.  You are separate not because you are reacting to the external world, but because you’ve chosen to follow your heart.

And when you listen the sound of your heart, you start to believe in bigger possibilities, bigger realities.

The more that we listen to the music of our heart, the more focused we become on our purpose.  Distraction becomes a thing of the past.  Distraction is when we have our radio on scan.  Scanning for a good song, better music than what is inside.

So how do we listen to our hearts, and get in touch with the possibilities that lie within us?  Stillness.  In action and in thought.  When we still our mind and still our thoughts all that is left is all we need to keep going.

Stillness on the inside is infinitely better than addiction to external stimulation.  The more we lean upon the outside, the more dependent we become, the more dependent we become, the less free we are.

Freedom is when you follow your heart.

I can only follow my heart if I am listening to my heart.

I wonder how I would live my life if I took more time to listen to my heart.  I wonder how I would much more purposefully I would act if I was listening to the silence instead of trying to find guidance and validation from the external.

 

Our Unknown, Our Darkness

No matter how hard it is to believe, you should always believe in your dreams.  Believe that they are possible.  That you are the one to make them possible.

What other choice is there?  Succumb to the doubts?  Never.  Give in to mediocrity?  Over my dead body.  With self-belief there is no grey.  It’s black and white.  Either you choose to believe or you choose not to believe.  Either you choose to act, or you choose not to act.

And believing in your dreams is what leads you to take action.  And not just any action.  A kind of action that takes you to the unknown.  Action that is committed, no turning back, a full running jump into the blackness.

darkness

But the black void isn’t what scares me.  What scares me is the illuminated coffin of comfort.  The place where I feel safe, where I feel like there is no threat, where I feel like there is no risk – that is the greatest place I fear to stay.  Because if I am feeling comfortable in a place where I am not pushing my limits and growing and giving as much as I can – that can only mean that I am turning a blind eye to my dreams, to my potential, to my personal legend as Paulo Coelho says.

Because think about it for a moment, what kind of level of personal growth or contribution to the world can we make when we are not walking boldly into our unknown?  Who will we inspire with hope and confidence if we do not lead the way into our personal darkness.  What message are we sending to ourselves?

No, the world will not come to us and our dreams will not magically appear, and that is the way it should be.  They happen BECAUSE of us and at an even deeper, because of WHO we are.

When my time comes up, when my ticket is called – I want to know that I took the action to own my personal unknown.  I want to know that I faced my own personal darkness.  Maybe that is why people fear death, because it is their unknown.  The people who are bold face that unknown daily, and so why would we fear it at the end of our lives?

The worst feeling is knowing that you could have done something but you didn’t.  Knowing you could have acted from your higher self- but instead you acted from a place of fear.

Just today I was walking home from a meeting and because of the weather (-21* F), I was wearing a thick jacket, on top of another jacket, on top of my long sleeved shirt, on top of my undershirt.  I felt like a walking sleeping bag.

As I walked, I passed a young man in a wheelchair with a red blanket wrapped around his legs, wearing only one jacket.  He was holding out a cup, begging for some change from the people walking by him.  I stopped in front of him and took off my gloves and threw my hands into my pockets one at a time.

Our eyes met as I was trying to find some cash for him.  My hands both came up full of lint.  All I had was my cards.  No cash.  I looked at him and winced.  Shit.  He looked at me with his eyebrows high and made a sound.  Not a word, not a phrase.  A sound.

I winced again as I walked away.  He must be feeling very cold.  I saw a McDonalds glowing just a few blocks down.  I sped my pace up.  Fuck, if I don’t have cash, at the very least I can buy him some hot food.  Those of you who know me, know I am all about eating healthy, but fuck it, this guy needed something to eat, something hot, and something now.

I pushed through the glass doors into the big, loud, yellow M.  There were at least 10 people in front of me.  Fuck.  Pray to god that fast food is actually fucking fast.  I squinted my eyes as I scanned the menu.  Hopefully I find something somewhat on the healthier end, and hot.

I chose a pita bread sandwich that was displayed on the far right corner of the wall.  At least it wasn’t fried.

Finally it was my turn, well not my turn technically.  I cut in front of a guy when he wasn’t looking.  I ordered, paid.  Waited the two minutes and ran out door.

Sigh of relief.  I felt fabulous.  Ah.  I could already see his face melt into a smile as I gave him the warm paper bag.  I started walking towards his direction.  Turned the corner.  Nada.  Zilch.  He wasn’t there.  Fuck.  

As I was walking back on my way home, I started thinking this train of thought. If only I would have done this, if only I had done that.  And then I stopped myself and I realized something.

In the moment, with what I knew, with what I had, I did the best I could. 

The true measure of success is this: are we doing the best we possibly can with what we have right now?  Waiting until we are a better fit for the job is not a path for success.  Waiting for qualification is never the answer.  Thinking someone else is better than we are leads to lethargy.

It’s not about whether or not we reach the finish line set by others.  I remember one of the greatest revelations I had was when I was about 15 years old.  I wrote down in my journal, “You are not in a race against anyone but yourself.”  The thing that matters is that we break our own fears, our own chains to the known, and walk with an upright chest and heart of courage into the unknown.  Our unknown.

We own our unknown by doing the most menial things sometimes.

Your blood, sweat and tears aren’t always visible to the public.  The hard work that nobody knows about except for you.  The rejections, objections and obstacles you face in private may never be praised, or even known about, even in public.

And when you finally make it to the top of your Everest, having left your known without guarantee, in earnest search of your unknown, the outside world may attribute your success to luck, or chance.  But that is irrelevant to you.

Because, why we do what we do, the reason we stay in the battle, the reason we risk everything is because we can feel that part of ourselves, deep inside, that will never rest unless we know that we have given our everything to be the best we can be.

Do you remember the last time you thought the trail in the forest would never end?  Chances are, the fact that you survived and THRIVED is a source of strength for you now.

The darkness can’t stop the sun from shining.  The darkness can’t stop the earth from revolving around the sun.

We can grip our swords that much stronger.

We will outlast the darkness.

We will conquer our unknown.

Believe.

 

 

Playing Calligraphy For The Clouds

I was sitting across the table from a stressed actress. She was beautiful, talented and somewhat famous. Not hollywood big yet. I recognized her from somewhere.

She stopped during our meeting. She pointed to a bag next to me, and indicated that was where her calligraphy things were. I reached into the clear plastic bag and searched through and handed her a piece of paper rolled up. She told me she was going to play calligraphy for the clouds.

I think this is the difference between “art” and “finishing”. We don’t say we are going to finish guitar. We say we are going to play guitar.

I don’t think this is semantics at all. This is the way art is. When we are stressed we are trying to finish the song versus play our instrument. That creates stress, because we lose touch with the present and we focus solely on the finish line.  Sometimes we need to stop trying to finish the song and simply play our instruments, or in the case of my actress, play calligraphy.

We play, for the clouds, not the crowds. We play for the gods. Not the people who look at you through critical lenses. Play for the gods. The clouds. Nature.

What a dream, eh?

You Can’t Handle The Truth & Fuck Parmesan Cheese Forever

I was sitting next to a guy who smelled like parmesan cheese during my 12 hour flight a couple weeks ago.  The thing is, I smelled it.  Big time.  And even more when he turned and faced me head on.  He blew gusts of that yellow, warm cheese smelling breath when he introduced himself to me.  He must of thought I was an introvert or at least obsessed with my inflight film, because he couldn’t smell the stench emanating off his body.

It was already a part of his reality.  Not mine.  It was normal to him.

A few hours later I walked around the cabin to stretch my legs, and get some “fresh” air.  I ended up chatting with the stewardesses in the back of the plane.  One had sprayed on some sort of peachy-apricot-like fruit perfume earlier that day.  That was much nicer than Mr. King Cheese next to my window seat.

That stewardess didn’t know how fabulous she smelled.  I wish she could have plugged herself into the cabin AC.  She didn’t smell her very own glorious scent because it was normal to her... and unfortunately, it was out of my reality at that point in the flight.

The term “reality” has many “kung-fuey” associations.  Like if we somehow learn something magical and whimsical we can stop bullets midair.

All that it means is this.

What you consider to be normal.  

Nothing else.  If something is “out of your reality” – all that means is that you don’t consider that to be normal.  It would surprise you if that happened.

Whenever you set goals – instead of asking the normal questions (which we have become numb to), try asking new questions – that gets you new answers.  New answers create new motivation.  New motivation create new actions.

Here’s how you can create a new reality

  1. Know what your current reality is.
  2. Know what you want your reality to be.

Instead of asking questions like “what do I want” or asking anything else that is slightly related – ask yourself this question - what do I consider normal now?

AKA… what’s the current smell emanating from your life?

When you look in the mirror…

Find out what you consider to be normal today.  Dig deep.  Are you surprised when you make a certain amount of money?  Are you surprised when you travel a certain amount of times a year?  Are you surprised when you have a certain level of passion and intimacy in your relationship?

Get two readings on your meter of reality (perception).  Get what you consider to be normal, and what surprises you.  

I like to ask 3 or 4 questions in each of these three categories.

  1. Health
  2. Relationships
  3. Finances

The more honesty you inject into these answers the more clarity you will get later on when you get to the next step.  It’s always easier to lie to ourselves – if we are looking at the short-term.  But, in the long-term, we create mental mayhem by lying to ourselves.  One of my greatest moments of personal growth and power came to me when I looked at the facts.  When I asked an honest question – and I gave an honest answer.  I asked- where am I, right now.  No sugar coating, nothing.  Bare bones.  Where the fuck am I?

Nothing is more motivating and inspiring than the truth.  

A couple years ago, I noticed myself getting fat.  That’s not me.  That’s not who I am or what I stand for.  But, regardless, I was getting fucking fat.  I hated it, but not enough to make a change in my daily routine.  I hated it, but not enough to get the results I said “I wanted”.

I decided one day that I had enough.  I went straight to my nearest bathroom.  Stripped to bare skin.  Stared at myself in the mirror, and snapped a fat ass picture of me.  I even accentuated the picture.  I saved it as my background on my phone and my laptop.

While people who promote positive visualization would not agree with my method – let me tell you, I changed.  Everything.  What I was eating.  What I was doing at my gym.  How I was sleeping.  Everything changed.  And guess what?  So did my body.  I lost 38 pounds in 45 days.

It’s not the perfect picture of rippling abs and buns of steel that will keep you motivated.  It’s the truth.  The fucking bloated ass picture that shows you how you actually look.  That is what will change you.  Our mind is much simpler than we think.  Carrot and stick.  Many times the carrot doesn’t work until you have momentum.  Use the stick to kick your ass into gear and achieve what you want.

NEXT

Once you have defined your current reality – it’s time to define what you want life to be like.  What do you want to be surprised by?  What do you want to be normal?

The benefit to you personally of looking at what you want to be normal for you is that you are bypassing all the goal-setting bullshit and you are cutting to the core of what you actually want in life.

Again, using health, relationships and finances (I find that these are the core areas in life that matter), you can ask yourself questions like – what do I want to be normal in these areas in 3 months for example, or whatever timeline you have in mind.

The key to achieving all the greatest new levels of life is purpose.  If you are aware of your purpose – your chances of success skyrocket.  You will find that even out of the 2-3% of the population that set goals – only 1-2% of that group is really clear about why they absolutely have to have what they wrote down as a goal.

You must be clear on your big reason.  Fuck all the grandiose and eloquent sounding things – get raw, get dirty – get to the bottom of it all.  Why do you want to be ripped?  What is being ripped going to give you?  Who has told you couldn’t be ripped?  Who has told you that you aren’t good enough?  Who has told you that you are – and that you deserve it?  Look.  I don’t care what motivates you.  I don’t even care what motivates me.  All I care – is that it motivates me.  I have achieved mammoth goals in record time being motivated by things that are absolutely abominable and I would be embarrassed to share them.  But guess what?  I achieved it.  I hit my goal.

The problem is never your goal.  It’s never that you need to raise it, or lower it even.  It’s the engine – your purpose that matters.

So.  Reality.  Today.  Right this nanosecond.  Before you blink your eyes.  What is it that you think is normal?  Are you clear?  Here’s why this matters to you.  If you are aware of what is happening you become what some would categorize as a “mastermind” meaning that you are not just floating through life like a leaf in the breeze – out of control and going nowhere fast.  The thing is that you are in control of your life to the degree that you are aware of what is happening in your life.

Awareness is power.  It is real and absolute power.  It is the power to motivate.  It is the power to keep you up working late – working harder than everyone else is – until you reach your goal and achieve your mark in the history books.  Awareness is the personal trainer and coach that you always wanted but never could afford to hire.  Nobody knows what you feel and what your life is really like – what your reality is – but you.  Don’t be careless with this valuable information.

You have a choice today – do you want to change the things that you take everyday as normal – or do you want to recycle the same karma as yesterday – over and over and over.  Maybe there is more for the taking, more that you could become, more that you could experience.  Maybe you deserve more.

Get clear on your current reality.  What you consider normal now.  What surprises you now.  Be honest as fuck.  Then – it’s time to get clear on what what you want to consider normal.  Set a new reality in front of you and with your honest current reality side by side – you will have the motivation to slice through fear and create what you want.

This is dedicated to you and a 2014 you will never forget.

Cheers.